The Palm of God

The Palm of God

Dave’s throat was healed. Terry’s was not.

healing_of_the_blind_man

God healed people in the Bible—He can do it in our world, but we don’t have if we don’t ask…

It was November 1998.

One evening, my husband and I discussed all the reasons why we still hoped for Terry’s healing. A number of friends, along with us, had received numerous dreams, visions, Scriptures, and prophetic words. Dave’s miracle increased our faith to believe such things were possible. Terry had met with remarkable spiritual leaders—Paul Cain, Jack Deere, Mike Bickle—leaders who had prayed for and seen healings. We even attended a conference in Portland with Terry and his wife, Vanessa. Nearly a thousand people extended their hands toward Terry as the speaker prayed for his healing.

My heart cried out—What are you waiting for, Lord?

Around that time, I had a dream that Terry was in a burning building. The people holding the safety net were supposed to create equal tension on all sides in unison, making it safe for him to jump. Instead, the people were having a tug-of-war over the net—a pretty clear message.

Holding Holy BibleUnity had been a key ingredient in Dave’s healing. One visiting speaker discerned that the spirit of denominationalism in our town was very divisive. Perhaps God was waiting for the Body of Christ to come together in unity and reconciliation. Terry could be the catalyst for such a gathering.

Our home group put an ad in the local paper:Continue reading

Rehearsals

Rehearsals

Terry had serious throat cancer. He was pastoring a small church in rural Montana. As part of the community of people who loved him, we prayed hard and fasted long. We encouraged him and his family in every way we knew how. One by one, medical answers came up empty. Still throughout his illness we sought God’s healing power.

But Terry died anyway. He was only 39.

I cried a flood tears. My heart broke for his family. But honestly—some tears revealed my disappointment with God. Why would He take such a wonderful man? We needed Terry here. God is able to heal—but in this case, He didn’t. I asked God for understanding. Over the course of Terry’s decline I saw four dramatic symbolic pictures. In the wake of Terry’s death, God made sense of them.Continue reading

The Healed Soul

The Healed Soul

“The soul is healed by being with children.”

–Fyodor Dostoevsky

Happiness came at last for Dostoevsky in his mid-forties. Anna Snitkina and Fyodor Dostoevsky married and enjoyed sixteen wondrous years.

Anna’s writings gave us an intimate glimpse of Dostoevsky as an adoring husband. Once, he waited three hours for her on a street corner when her return was delayed. He also took great joy in giving her beautiful gifts—even when money seemed scarce.

8b0c79d0b2He had a tireless love of children and soothed the housekeeper’s children when he heard coughing or crying in the night. As a devoted father, he helped with bathing and feeding their children, unlike men of his day. Anna described him…

“Fyodor was uncommonly tender with his daughter, fussed over her, carried her about in his arms, sang her to sleep and felt so happy that he wrote (a friend), ‘Oh, why aren’t you married and why don’t you have a child? I swear to you that ¾ of life’s happiness lie in that, and ¼ at most in the rest.’”[i] Anna added, “Neither before nor since have I seen a man with such a capacity to enter the world of children.”[ii]

Dostoevsky also proved to be deeply passionate about God. He knew the depths of spiritual battles and once wrote:

“Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man.”[iii]

Another time he wrote, “God sends me sometimes instants when I am completely calm; at those instants I love and feel loved by others, and it is at those instances that I have shaped for myself a Credo where everything is clear and sacred for me. This Credo is very simple; here it is:Continue reading