Doctor Blake’s Question

“I can get angry at God sometimes,” said Father Emery, “But it doesn’t mean I’ll walk out on Him.”

Dr. Blake’s eyes widened as he made direct eye contact with the priest.

Father Emery continued. “Don’t let God go because you couldn’t hear Him when you needed to. Don’t let hurt decide your faith.”

Maybe the priest knew something of the good doctor’s inner struggle. His message was pointed.

Doctor Lucien Blake played by Craig McLachlan is the main character of a TV series called The Doctor Blake Mysteries. In his backstory, Blake served in the Far East as a medical officer during World War II. There, he married a Chinese woman and had a child. When Singapore fell, he tragically lost contact with them. He has been searching ever since. The series takes place Australia, in the late 1950s, where Blake assumed his late father’s work as a police forensics doctor. Though several decades have passed, he still doesn’t know if his family is alive or dead. He remains heartbroken.

The priest’s admonition seemed to touch the doctor’s deep pain. Later, Blake goes into the church alone to have a talk with God. His manner is characteristically gracious, so I’ve written in italics what I think he’s feeling…

“Yes, I know. It’s been a long time since I was last here.” Doctor Blake stands in the aisle, looking up at a stained glass image of Jesus. “A funeral, in case You’ve forgotten,” he says with a twang of sarcasm.

(I feel forgotten and insignificant to You, God.)

“It’s all right. I didn’t come expecting an answer this time. Though I imagine Father Morton did.”

(Last time I came to You with questions about my wife and my daughter, You said nothing! And what about Morton?)

Doctor Blake had been investigating the suspicious circumstances surrounding the death of the senior priest, Father Morton. His emotions start to rise…

“Did (Morton) know he was losing his mind? Did he kneel right here and ask You for Your help? I’m sure he did. And what did You give him? A sign? Or nothing?” His voice quivers, increasing in pitch.

(You just stood by and watched him die an agonizing death!)

“All these children…” Blake turns and gestures toward the empty pews. “Your children, begging You for help!” At last is tone is honest. “What father ignores his children? You know I can’t. I can’t!”[i] 

(How can you be a loving God if you don’t intervene in suffering? It’s like You don’t even care. You answer me with silence and ask me to have faith anyway! If You aren’t concerned about your children, then I will have to fill your shoes myself! Thanks for nothing!) 

What father ignores his children?

There it is—the juggernaut of his contention with God. There’s a tragic irony here. Dr. Blake had been hunting desperately for his family without any success. For all they knew, Blake didn’t care about them, yet the opposite was true!

Couldn’t the same be said for God? We know that God as the Shepherd leaves the herd to look for one lost sheep. We know that the very hairs of our heads are counted. We know that His thoughts about us outnumber the grains of sand. All that is true even when we don’t feel God’s presence.

What we believe about God matters. Some might say, “If I were to do to my children what God seems to allow or do to His children, I’d be put in jail!” Author and teacher Bill Johnson says that kind of comment shows a limited understanding of who God is. So much of what’s possible in our experience with God is restricted and restrained by wrong thinking. We think in terms of living under the heavy hand of an angry God. (Or in Dr. Blake’s case—silent and uncaring). Johnson maintains that when our view of God is different than who He really is, we obstruct the flow of His goodness. Believing God is good has to be the cornerstone of our faith.[ii]

Secondly, there are always two conversations going on—what you say out loud, and what you feel inside. The best prayers reconcile the two. Prayer should be an exercise in honesty.

And finally, are your hard questions to the Lord a monologue, or do you wait, listen, and watch for His response? God can handle our frustration, but give Him a chance to answer.

So many of God’s beloved people are not learning to hear His voice. When difficult times come—as Jesus said they would—how many of us, like Dr. Blake, resort to shaking our fists at God? It is one thing to know the Bible. It is a completely life-altering thing when God speaks personally to you in a fresh, timely, and poignant way about your specific circumstances.

Don’t let hurt decide your faith. Believe God is good…offer up honest prayers…and listen for His voice.

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[i] The Doctor Blake Mysteries, Season 2, Episode 9.

[ii] “God Is Good,” e-course by Bill Johnson.