Offensive Arms

Offensive Arms

I’m going to tell a funny story on myself.

As a child, my concept of worship was limited. At church we sang different hymns each week so I didn’t really learn the melodies, with a few exceptions. Not that hymns aren’t beautiful. I just sang them in the same way I said the pledge of allegiance before school each morning. It was just something we did.

"that guy"

“that guy”

Back in the early 80s, my husband and I attended a wonderful church. The congregation was warm and friendly…the pastor, an excellent teacher. But during worship, one guy would predictably lift up his arms in praise. It really bothered me. I felt tense inside.

I thought…this is embarrassing! Why is he drawing attention to himself? Worship should be about God!

Portrait upset worried old woman isolated on white backgroundThen one Sunday, my husband and I invited his mother to join us at the first service. I was pretty sure that guy attended the second service. I glanced around the sanctuary. To my relief, he wasn’t there. Closing my eyes, I sang the first song from my heart. But as the second song started, I opened my eyes to see that guy inching his way past others to sit directly in front of us.

Up went his hands!

My face became hot. I could feel my mother-in-law’s uneasiness. She purposely didn’t look at him. His body and arms kept us from seeing the lyrics on the screen. My lips formed a tight line. I was too annoyed to join in the worship.Continue reading

A Pancake Education

A Pancake Education

In case you haven’t noticed, a spiritual battle over adolescents is raging. It’s widely discussed—everything from teenage pregnancies, drug abuse, eating disorders, gang participation, and suicide rates.

Young woman in classroom.Few people, however, seem to realize that Christian kids are at risk in all the same categories. Even fewer worry about kids who go to Christian schools and live in Christian homes. After all, those kids are covered on all fronts, right?

Dead wrong.

Barna research indicates that, although most teens have a relationship with Christianity, it’s usually superficial. Other sources show that an average Christian kid’s belief system is no different from non-churched kids. For example “85% of Christian teens are likely to reason just because it’s wrong for you doesn’t mean it’s wrong for me, and 57% could not even say that an objective standard of truth exists.”

David Kinnaman’s recent book, You Lost Me: Why Young Christians are Leaving the Church…and Rethinking Their Faith, states that nearly 60% of kids raised in Christian homes walk away from their faith. These statistics should cause great alarm.

Three high school boys I know sounded the alarm for me one morning over breakfast years ago. They came on Saturday mornings for pancakes. Our discussions were engaging, because their thoughts were unedited.

One such morning, we talked about Christian education. Laying academic comparisons aside, we asked them about the spiritual pros and cons of public school, homeschool and Christian schools. To my astonishment, all three were decidedly negative about Christian education.

mother scolding sonThey confided that many of their friends who’d gone exclusively to Christian schools became serious drug addicts. One said that Christian schools were in danger of producing some of the worst atheists. Most kids felt the environment was like a restrictive playpen with a “can’t do this—can’t do that,” mentality. Too many persnickety rules. Continue reading

Cold Spots

Cold Spots

IMG_0005 2Last summer, my brilliant son, Nate, solved an age-old question. One beautiful blue-green day, my daughter and I were swimming across a bay of the French River. He was our lifeguard, staying slightly ahead of us in a motorboat.

The water felt wonderful except for the occasional cold spot. I told him I’d always wondered why there were warm and cold sections in the water. You’d think a river would have it all mixed up so you wouldn’t encounter such a stark change. Nate had studied the nature of fluids as a mechanical engineering student. He nonchalantly replied, “Oh that’s easy.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, swimming closer to the boat.

IMG_0241 2“The motor pulls colder water up from the bottom.” He said. “A powerboat essentially leaves a cold wake as it travels down the river. Swimming across the bay, you’re passing through the wakes, thinking they’re isolated cold spots.”

Then he gave me a wild look. “I’ll prove it to you!” All at once, he jetted big circles around us, bringing waves of freezing water up from the bottom.

2006 - 2007 226“You’ve lost your head!” I said.

But he wouldn’t relent.

“Okay, okay!” I shouted. “I believe you.”

2006 - 2007 227

Turns out he found his head.

Suddenly, it seemed so obvious, though I’d been puzzled about it for years.

Cold spots in the water are similar to hot spots—emotionally.

You’re going along, minding your own business, when something happens that triggers a huge emotional response. It comes on suddenly and is way out of proportion to the present circumstance.

HeadacheA flash of hot anger.

A surge of deep sorrow.

A paralyzing panic or fear.

sense and sensibility

 

It happened to me one night in 1995 while watching the movie, Sense and Sensibility.

I identified with Elinor, the older sister in the story. Following the death of her father, she tries to hold her family together in one crisis after another. She perseveres day after day with immense fortitude, though inside she is utterly brokenhearted. I felt her inner conflict and the weight of responsibility she carried. But I didn’t realize the extent of her struggle until the end, when the desire of her heart is finally fulfilled.

Unexpected happiness unbridles her hidden sorrow, and she sobs like a child.

The Holy Spirit came close. “That’s you,” He said, gently.Continue reading