Heidi’s Story

Part 3 of the series, “God is Good”…

In this post, I share a remarkable story about the goodness of God. If you missed the last two posts, start there. One Unshakable Core Belief, and Mystery: The Unresolved Category

To recap, it’s hard to reconcile the goodness of God with suffering in human life. We may start to think God isn’t doing a good job of being God. But He has given us solid reasons to trust in His goodness and asks us to embrace the category of mystery. Yet, if we’re in the wilderness of unanswered questions, the Holy Spirit can still bring the presence of God into our pain and suffering. When we experience His goodness, we may not understand the “whys” of our circumstances, but His peace remains. Experience is the operative word.

So here’s the story of my second cousin Heidi…

Heidi and I have known each other our whole lives. Our families have cabins on the French River in Ontario, and we’ve spent many summers growing up there. Our cabins are separated by a short walk through the woods.

In August 1974, Heidi was ten years old. Her parents, Rick and Sue, had four children: Gretchen the oldest, then Heidi, followed by Scott and Brooks. Scott was born with mental challenges as Sue had had a mild case of the measles during pregnancy. He was seven years old that summer and was learning to swim.

Tragically, he ventured down to the dock by himself and jumped in. Heidi was with her Dad, fishing in the bay, and saw the flag go down at the cabin—their emergency signal. They raced back to the dock. Heidi remembers her parents trying to revive Scott on the bathroom floor.

But it was over—Scott had died.

On that day, Heidi recalls seeing clouds in the shape of a man and a child holding hands—a picture of Jesus taking Scott to heaven. She believed it was a sign, and that everything was going to be okay. Still, her parents endured such emotional torture in the aftermath. My heart broke for them.

Heidi grew up in the culture of Young Life and basically knew God from the start.

She married the love of her life, Rod, and together they’ve raised three beautiful daughters. Heidi has been a grade school teacher for years and is one of most wholesome, stable, down-to-earth women, I know. She did not come from a Charismatic or Pentecostal background. I say this because what occurred was so unexpected.

It happened the summer of 2015 up on the French River. One a glorious summer day, Rod and Heidi had gone for a 30-minute run on a nearby gravel road as they have many times. Rod ran on ahead of Heidi.

While listening to music with her earbuds, Heidi gradually entered a different realm, like a quiet bubble, but still the same landscape. The sky changed from clear blue to a fog of glittering light, although words really can’t describe it.

She was wide awake and still running when she heard her uncle Cliff yell, “Hey Heidi!” Cliff had a very distinct voice. If he called you on the phone, you’d know right away it was him. But Cliff had died in 2012, three years prior. Yet she looked over, and there he stood in his running shorts and a white shirt.

Cliff was a precious man. He worked for Young Life his entire career and also taught at Fuller Seminary. He officiated at my wedding. How incredible it must’ve been to see him. So Heidi talked with Cliff briefly about his widow, Mary, saying she was doing great and that they were taking care of her. Heidi kept on running.

Then she saw her grandfather. He didn’t say anything but was clapping and cheering her on. After that she saw her paternal grandmother who lived to be 103 years old. Heidi said, “Hey…it’s your first time up here…how great!”

At that point she heard herself talking out loud and wondered why.

Up on a rock ledge behind her grandmother, sat her great-grandmother, Hattie, waving as she smiled at Heidi. All these people had passed away.

After that, Heidi looked ahead and saw her brother Scott walking along. When she told me this for the first time, I stopped breathing. “Was he…a boy?” I asked.

“No, he was a tall man with brown wavy hair,” she said. “But his blue eyes looked exactly same. That’s how I knew it was him. He said, ‘Hi Hei!’ just like he used to.” Oddly, it felt “normal” to see him even though over forty years had gone by.

She kept jogging and soon came upon Jesus. He wore cargo shorts and sandals, and His shirt was a burlap kind of poncho. She immediately asked Him if He’d brought Peter and Paul. Now she laughs when telling the story! Why didn’t she start out with “Hello”? It was a strange thing to ask! He motioned that Peter and Paul were up ahead. She ran on saying, “I love you!” and finished her run.

Heidi really didn’t think about the whole experience until an hour later. Back at the cabin after taking a shower, it hit her—“Did that really happen to me?” She hurried outside to tell her Dad.

In my view, God parted the veil between the seen and the unseen to show Heidi the “great cloud of witnesses” cheering for her on her road of life. All this with her eyes wide open.

Can you imagine the peace that settled over her family, as she shared the experience of seeing Scott as a man and the reality of eternal life? Think of her parents, Sue and Rick. All the “whys” of Scott’s premature death were overshadowed with the hope of being reunited again!

As Bill Johnson said, “You may have a thousand questions, but allow your encounters with God to have more weight than your questions.”

While Heidi’s experience is rare, God has many ways to speak to us in our distress. But if we’re not experiencing God in any tangible way, it’s easy to get stuck in our questions and remain disappointed with God.

If that’s you, I encourage you to do this listening prayer exercise. Find a secluded place. Bring a notebook and a pen. Remove all distractions, and get quiet with the Lord. Do these three steps, and don’t discount the first thing that comes to mind:

1. Ask God, “What is the main reason I’m stuck and can’t believe in Your goodness?” Maybe God will show you a picture of yourself in a particular time and place, or with a certain person. When was your heart broken? Let grief rise to the surface. You might feel angry. Maybe deep sorrow will surge. Write down your thoughts as they come.
2. Now with your eyes closed, envision Jesus walking into that very scene of your past. He has something in His hand to give you. What is it? What does it mean to you? Take notes again.
3. Finally, Jesus has one word or a phrase to say to you. It might be a Scripture or maybe lyrics from a song. If it’s one word, look up the expanded meaning in the dictionary. Write down the sense of what God is saying to you about this “stuck place” of your life.

And if you’re comfortable, share your experience by leaving a comment…

To watch Heidi tell her story in person, click here.